Are you focused on others or just on You?

It would not be fair of me to write about you so instead I will write about me in the First Person. You see, I learned a long time ago that when you point a finger at someone, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you. But again, I said that I will write this in the first person, ME!

Have you ever thought about “charisma”? Well, I have. I have asked myself many times, just what is it that causes others to want to be with or follow someone else. Well this is a Leadership article but let me take it a step further. We use the word Leadership so freely these days that we think that we all have it. Oopps, I said that I would write this in the first person, didn’t I? So, I have a title. I have a position. And naturally, I assume (dangerous word to use) that I am a Leader. Recently, I learned to use a different word when it comes to leadership. And that descriptive word is “influencer”. How does my leadership allow me to influence others to the point where they want to follow me? In many ways, another word that will compliment this is charisma.

How can I have charisma? I need to be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than I am about making them feel good about me. I have found it so much better doing things under a spirit of approval than that of a spirit of criticism.

I used to think that charisma was a mystical word that only certain people had. Some think that it is. But charisma is like a magnet that attracts all or most anyway to you. So clearly, this charisma thing is something that can and should be developed. Again, as I write this, in the first person, I clearly describe me now versus the me I was…

1. Do I love life? Well I do now. I used to be a miserable and grumpy person. Why, because I thought that to be a good leader I needed to be so. I thought that the lack of a smile and a staunch hard attitude would make me respected and appreciated. The only thing that I found out was that I was feared and that I tended to be depressed a lot. Now, I am passionate about life. And I try to help people to be about their lives. There is just too much negativity in this world and that is not what it is meant to be.

2. Treat people like each and every one of them is a “10”. Now let me tell you, that I run into some people who I sometimes wonder about. Well if I had a mirror, that was what I used to look like. Today, I try to see the good in everyone and to help them see the best that is in each of them.

3. It’s all about “HOPE”. This is an acronym that I have learned about. While the word in and of itself has deep meaning, when broken down, its meaning becomes more unique. HOPE stands for Helping Other People Excel. I need to be a dealer in HOPE.

4. The greatest thing that I have learned to become is that of a “Server”. I used to be a follower of that famous radio station “WIIFM” (What’s in it for me). Today, I am a follower of “WIIFO” (What’s in it for others). I am much happier helping others. I am much happier giving of myself be it wisdom, resources etc. In fact, my main push in life, my Why, is that of helping others thru a Magnificent Obsession.

So I have written this in the first person…ME! I challenge you to ask yourself, how you rate yourself when it comes to charisma. How do you rate when it comes to Pride, Insecurity, Moodiness, Perfectionism and most importantly, Cynicism?

In closing, join me in working at some simple things to improve your charisma…
-Change your focus
-Play the first impression game
-Share yourself

Help people feel welcome around you and help them to know that you are sorry when they have to leave.

Let me know your thoughts and comments. Write to me at [email protected] or leave your thoughts here on Facebook. What will YOU do today to effect YOU today that will have an affect on others?